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[walk_ins]

BLOOPER REEL!

Comments

[simon_doctor]

From here.

Simon, shouting into Dr. Lin's face: "Explain to me how you justifer performing -- justify -- crap."

Dr Lin: *cracks up*

[aj_crawley]

From here.

Crowley, raising tyre iron: "...Whuzzat?"

[river_meimei]

Another piece of popcorn bounces off his forehead, and a third one drops neatly into his collar.

The thrower is invisible, off-camera.

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

A moment later, a spitball joins them.

There's a muffled giggle.

[aj_crawley]

"Roland? That's you, Roland, you sonofabitch, isn't it?"

Popcorn.

"ROLAND."

Popcorn. Crowley turns. Popcorn.

"MOTHERFUCKER, I SWEAR I'LL - "

Thud.

Crowley, meet wall.

[flybywash]

From here:

It's not quite hitting the dartboard, but it's close enough. As Wash's hands progress over the console....

a thumping beat kicks in, and the overhead lights start to flash a la the cheesiest, most tacky disco ever.

"Shit! Sorry, sorry, wrong button -- "

He slams a palm down on the console, and the beat stops.

"...Why do we even HAVE that button?"

[aj_crawley]

From here.

Hiss.

The sound of one of Serenity's lesser airlocks swinging shut.

A few noisy thunks, and then a tall figure in a dark suit slides neatly down the ladder. The reinforced case he wrestles down after him comes with rather less grace.

Finally, he props it against the corridor wall, presses the button to seal the second lock, and promptly disappears down a man-hole.







Re-enter Crowley, screen left, with crocodile.

"...Why do we even HAVE that button?"

[young_tmriddle]

From here:

*If the Patronus does know what it's doing, it hasn't shared the knowledge with Tom.

However, Tom has an idea as the vampire shambles backwards. There are many ways to deal with the many kinds of vampires of the many worlds.

This one usually works for them all. He thrusts his wand into its back as hard as he can, in the approximate location of its heart.*

And the wand promptly breaks in half, sending Tom sprawling.

"For fuck's sake, can't this production afford proper props?"

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

From here:

--Beth's arm is steady and her eyes are cold and flat, and Simon's own gun is now pointed unwaveringly at his head.

"Revenge the blood." Her hands may be steady, but her voice isn't; it's high and tight with stress, and shaking just a little. "Blood on the leaves, green is red. It's red. Turn it off. Turn it off or she'll slay you. Slay him herself."

There's a moment of tense silence--and then an explosion of laughter from just offscreen.

"Sorry!" Cuthbert gasps out after a moment. "Sorry, I just--I was looking at Faith, and then she said 'slay', and--and--" he dissolves into laughter again.

[walk_ins]

From farther off-screen, impatient: "All right, cut. Try it again, people."

--Beth's arm is steady and her eyes are cold and flat, and Simon's own gun is now pointed unwaveringly at his head.

"Revenge the blood." Her hands may be steady, but her voice isn't; it's high and tight with stress, and shaking just a little. "Blood on the leaves, green is-- Bert, for God's sake!"

Weakly, through laughter, Cuthbert's voice from offscreen, "Sorry-- no, really, sorry--"

[walk_ins]

"Right. One more time, people?"

Beth: "Revenge the blood." Her voice is high and tight with stress, shaking, yadda yadda. "Blood on the leaves, green is red. It's 'Bert will you stop that?"

She turns to glare at Cuthbert, who's helplessly laughing again.

[walk_ins]

"Be calm. Be professional. Don't kill 'Bert."

"Revenge the blood. Blood on the --"

"Why the fuck is there a sheep in here?"

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

"Revenge the blood. Blood on the leaves, green is red. It's red. Turn it off. Turn it off or she'll slay you. Slay him herself."

Cuthbert's head jerks to the side, and he starts in the girl's direction--and then swings back towards the doors as more blue-hands pour through.

He opens his mouth to shout for someone to deal with her--and then cracks up again, doubling over with laughter.

Simon leans his elbows on the tables, sighing in resignation. "I thought we had it that time."

"Alright, that's it." Faith strides forward. "Turn the camera off so Susan doesn't kill us later."

"Hahaha--oh, f--"

Sudden darkness and silence.

[flybywash]

From here:

Susannah wheels herself behind this last one and waits for Wash to take his position. Better to have her in the back than Book.

She tilts her head back and closes her eyes, hearing Wash come closer, interspersing a familiar rhythm between the steady speed of the pilot's footfalls.

The steps are weirdly muffled, though. When Wash finally comes into view, he's wearing a pair of Hawaiian-print bunny slippers. He takes his position on the upper catwalk without a word and switches the safety on his gun to OFF.



"What?" he asks finally, looking down at his feet. "Come on, it's ruttin' cold up there."

[walk_ins]

"Hm! Seems like Mavis and Zillah are taking a little nap. Let's see what they've got in their pockets." He rummages. "Aha! Nine sickles, and a dungbomb! This is my lucky day!"

[walk_ins]

The Doctor flings his (rotting silk) clothes off.

"NAKEY TIME!"

And begins to dance.

[key-youth-bert.livejournal.com]

From here:

Tappan Zee Ginsberg is very hurt, and very angry.

Motion.

Gun.

Hand.

All of these words swirl around for a while, and then he finds himself drawing a bead on the blonde man in the ugly shirt. A deep and satisfying peace drops over him.

And then Cuthbert and Crowley come rushing around the corner, arms outstretched, and fling themselves at him.

"Bother bother bother bother bother!!"

Susannah starts, then glares. "The fuck? You boys ain't even in this scene!"

"Bother bother bother bother--"

[simon_doctor]

From here.

Simon jams the gun into his belt, and faces Lin with his hands empty. "I'm going to say four words to you. And when I've said them, you are going to give me the medical files on this entire sadistic project, start to finish. Dong ma?"

"Wo dong," Dr. Lin says harshly, panting.

Simon's voice is all but expressionless.

"Where's. My. Ice. Cream."

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

A determinedly cheerful whistling.

Off to the side, Anthy and Cuthbert are trying to hide their chocolate-stained mouths with their hands.

Part Two.

[badinlatin]

From here.

"...Can't speak for all o' you; can only speak for myself - I ain't gonna lie and say I don't got worries."

Mal again casts a glance in the direction of his crew, then down to the full length of his favorite duster.

"Do you have any conception as to the dry cleaning bill getting blood on this jacket will get me?"

Part Two and a Half.

[badinlatin]

From here. With corrections by Batya. :)

Mal: "Faith! Kitchen, now!"

Faith: "Why do I gotta go to the kitchen? -sigh- Always the woman."

[walk_ins]

From here.

"Lions came loping into the lighted city," Zillah tells the ceiling, very quietly.

And then shoves off the covers with a violent thrust of both legs, and turns her head sharply to stare directly at AnthyRiverAnthy. Her eyes are wide in the dimness, and very blue.

A tiny smile, fierce with suppressed glee.

"There was an old man from Nantucket..."

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

Anthy stares at her, eyes wide and very white in the darkness.

Softly, half-disbelieving: "His cock was so long he could suck it?"

[walk_ins]

The theoretically sleeping Mavis breaks into spluttering giggles.

Beth sits up in bed with an aggravated sigh. "You guuuys--"

Off-camera: "Cut! Zhēn méi nàixìng de Fózŭ..."

[river_meimei]

From here:

Roland looks at Tom. "The door -- kaven. The persistence of magic. I need it to go to East Stoneham, Maine. 1977."

And he doesn't look at River.

Which is why he doesn't see that she's wearing Groucho Marx glasses.

"Open the trap," she whispers. "It's time to climb out." Her voice is soft, and teary, and very gentle. "Go on, then."

And now he does turn to her. He looks as though somebody slapped him--

And then he gapes, thoroughly derailed, and starts to crack up.

[young_tmriddle]

*Tom and Anthy stand smugly to the side attempting to hold back their laughter. They are wearing Groucho Marx glasses as well.*

I'm an Opener, not a bloody tardis, Roland. You open the door.

*They all cover their mouths waiting for Roland to open the door, which he does, warily.

Behind the door is a smiling Susan Delgado. She is also sporting the Groucho look.

Tom and Anthy hold onto each other for support, they're laughing so hard.*

[sai_delgado]

(From here.)

And Susan's there, staring-- and oh, even though she is startled indeed, the smile that spreads over her face is bright.

(blackbird)

"Sai Crowley?"

[aj_crawley]

And - he hadn't thought she'd be on Serenity, not yet, he'd thought he'd have time to, to adjust. To seeing everyone again. River, he'd been ready for, he'd known, been... prepared, but -

Not, Crowley realises now, that it would have hurt less, if he'd waited. Or been any more gladdening.

A deep breath, and a flippant salute.

"Long days and pleasant nights, Sai Cobb."

[sai_delgado]

Susan stares at him, then gives a horrified glance to Jayne.

"Now that's morbid and creepifyin', say true."

[walk_ins]

From here.

"Pie Jesu Domine"

Henchick isn't in the lead, but he looks like a drum major all the same.

"Dona eis requiem"

They're all men, they're all robed in dark blue, they all march, and they all bear wooden boards.

"Pie Jesu Domine"

And they're singing, in eerie five-part harmony.

"Dona eis requiem"

They cut off as one, and as one they raise the boards.

THUD.

Henchick has raised his right hand...and turned to the outcropping of rocks behind which there are

(filthy Gileadean pig-dog connigets)

travellers.

"Fetch...the Holy Hand Grenade."

[walk_ins]

[From here.]

Students shriek, adding to the din. Some stumble backwards; some just freeze, wide-eyed.

A gangly young man with an afro -- Stefan -- is watching Cuthbert's gun with narrowed, speculative eyes. A girl named Aiko, tucked protectively behind him, regards the bonfire that is the kitchen with a dreamy gaze. "Oxygen feeds it," she says to no one. "Dinnertime. It's appropriate. We'll run out of air and asphyxiate."

Smoke coils around the ceiling. There's a tang of burning plastic in the air, now, acrid in the back of their throats.

The young girl with the scarred forehead, Hana, lets Inara take her hand, relaxing at her reassurances, but not everyone reacts so. A dark-skinned girl next to her is glaring. "Stupid!" she shouts. "Lets it come, lets it come, fire burns their brains and it won't change a thing! Pretty voices lie."

There's a knot of students, now, huddled in the corner farthest from both the fire and the door. Many are terrified; some are waiting for a chance, although what they're waiting for is hard to tell.

Huddled among the students, wearing Academy uniforms, are Aspen, Gen, Phoenix, and Batya. As the camera pans across them, Batya reaches over to cling to Aspen's knees and moans: "Aaaaaaspen, we're so scrod."

[aj_crawley]

From here.

Abruptly, rapidly, Crowley starts unholstering his weapons, laying them down on the floor. Mobility will be important. One, two guns, innumerable rounds of ammunition, his share of sneetches. And, with rather more reluctance, the ancient-looking laser pistol at his hip. It'll be a wrench, leaving the Lassiter behind, but it won't be any more use.

Before laying it down, however, Crowley strides over to one of the chairs in the centre of the room, and cuts a goodly-sized chunk of metal from the back. Then he turns to Jayne.

"Give me your socks."

A blank look.

"Your socks."

Still nothing. Hissing in frustration, Crowley snaps his fingers, and the man's socks appear in his hand, one already inside the other. His eyes twinkle merrily.

He offers Ace a lemon sherbet.

[flybywash]

A shaki-cam shot of the bridge, as seen from Wash's chair.

"And now, a five-second reenactment of the attack."

A plastic dinosaur appears in frame, dressed in a doll suit and a tiny pair of blue rubber gloves.

"The part of Roland Deschain will be played by a spoon."

Cue the appearence of...a spoon.

Which then proceeds to begin viciously hitting the dinosaur over the head for the next five seconds.

"Aaand...scene!"

"CUT! Wash, what the tiān xiăodé are you doing with that camera?!"

"Oh, sh -- "

The frame swings wildly before dropping into darkness.

[walk_ins]

From here:

Silence. Dead silence. Staring.

Some look horrified, or furious.

Some gape.

Some faces blaze with dawning hope.

Into this stillness drops Zillah's voice.

"Listen," she says, low and urgent and savagely glad. "...I've forgotten my line."

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

From here:

Ace fiddles with the latches for a moment before figuring out how they work, then... the lid doesn't open.

She fiddles with the latches some more, frowning, then pounds on them a few times for good measure. Finally, she takes a step back, biting her lip.

"Erm... does anyone have the instructions to these things?"